So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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