Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
