I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
