I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
