Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
