it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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