so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
