There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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