youre lurking in front of me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
