Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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