Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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