guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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