you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
someone owes me an orgasm
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
