there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize