We should be called the Road Head Warriors
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
