Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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