So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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