We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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