Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize