Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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