So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
