You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
