if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
