So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
