I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
sarcasm needs its own font
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
