she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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