dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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