When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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