i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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