Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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