At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
