wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
