i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
