just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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