I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
