Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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