How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
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HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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