Don't you send me to vm
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
