White coat. Heels.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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