your thong is hanging out like whoa
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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