what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
