Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
