when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
