u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
