is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
