Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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