i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
drinking out of a sandbucket again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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