u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
