The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
