My liver just broke up with me...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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