So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
