she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
