I think scott just propositioned me for sex
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Who died my cat blue again?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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