i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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