I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
