What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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