i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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