So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
