Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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