Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I would fuck him just for his dog
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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