For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
